Forgiving Rollins
by doritosmycheetos12
Summary: Based on the episode "Forgiving Rollins"- Missing scenes, character thoughts, and Patton-Rollins drama. This will encompass the recovery, new game plans, and the old Detective Rollins. Rating is subject to change. Please leave your thoughts and comments. I appreciate the support. Thank you! Also, **Fin and Amanda**, or **Amaro and Amanda**?
1. Chapter 1

**This will be consistent with the episode "Forgiving Rollins" so spoiler alert. This will follow the episodes general story line but it will have extra scenes and all the characters thoughts. I know there is like a million of these stories, but I just couldn't help not being apart of the action. I will try to keep you on your feet, so thank you for your support and reading. I love suggestions and ideas so don't forget to leave them in the comments. **

**Thank you and enjoy!**

Chapter 1

"Its a brave new world. Since criminals are bound less and less by geographical jurisdiction. Law enforcement must follow suit. We all need to share information quickly and efficiently. Case in point." Patton's southern accent rang through the conference room.

Amanda cringed lightly, just the sound of his twangy voice created familiar chills slithering down her back.

"Now the recent Pattern 17 rape case in New York. For us at APD the most gratifying part of closing out that case was collaborating with our esteemed and charming colleagues at NYPD. Now one of Sargent Benson's detectives, formerly one of my own,"

Amanda silently grimaced and bit the edge of her lip.

"recalled a few old cases in Atlanta that matched the profile they had established. Now given the similarities and the MO we felt certain that DNA on file at our precinct would prove that this was the work of one man."

Amanda briefly met eyes with her old mentor. A man she had once trusted and worked diligently to impress. Now just the mere sight of him brought back grueling memories and feelings Amanda had fought to keep inside for years.

"This DNA, they were unable to obtain from the New York crime scene."

The conference finally ended and Amanda quickly got up from her seat. She made a speedy exit to the restroom and released the contents of her stomach in the porcelain bowl. Her eyes watered and she was instantly upset with how easily he could illicit a reaction out of her.

"No, stop it. You're fine." Amanda muttered under her breath.

She brushed the hair from her face and washed her hands with scolding hot water. Her hands were red, but the pain was hardly noticeable. Amanda was stuck looking in the mirror back at her own dull eyes. Have they always been like this? Dreary and lifeless, or maybe its just been like this for the last five years.

Amanda dried her hands and rubbed them with increasing anxiety on her pants. It was go time. She took a deep breath and left the lady's room with a pleasant, uncomfortable smile on her face. She met up with her team standing around a table outside of the conference room.

"He sits on the rape kits for 6 years, we catch the guy, then he takes the victory lap." Finn murmured, obviously upset with how the night had rolled out.

"Accept the things you cannot change." Amanda muttered.

"Just don't ask me to go out to dinner with him." Finn replied sarcastically.

Amanda scoffed.

The blonde looked up to see Patton making his way over to the table. Right away Amanda recognized the look on his face. The lust. The disgust she felt for this man was unbearable.

"Sargent, beautiful city you have here."

"Even when it isnt." Olivia replied.

"Yep." Patton sneered lightly. "That's true. But speakin of beautiful...Amanda, it's nice to see you. Ah, it broke my heart to let this one go."

Amanda forced a smile to her face. The same uncomfortable, awkward one that had painted her face earlier.

"Ya'all have a winner with her." Patton continued.

His stare never left Amanda's eyes. As if he was replaying every moment he had ever even imagined being with her. Amanda desperately wanted to cry or scream, this man made her emotions play twister inside of her.

"We know that." Finn curtly replied, automatically feeling protective of Amanda, for a reason he couldn't quite understand.

"Oh, forgive me darlin. Folks, this is detective Reese Taymore. This is her first conference."

Amanda looked into the same blue eyes this young girl had. She reminded Amanda of herself, so...so much. The look in her eyes, so eager to work and learn. Immediately Amanda knew she hadn't felt the pain yet.

"Oh, well welcome to New York." Olivia greeted.

"Ah, just like the song." Reese's smile lit up and made Amanda's heart crack a little. "I loved your presentation on aggravating and hot plating social media to really zero in on the crime scene or pattern."

Patton lifted his drink to his parched lips. Amanda watched his every move. Her teeth clenched and her breath ran shallow.

"We should really look into some of the programs she mentioned. Snap trends, scram fate."

Patton genuinely smiled. "Oh, anything you want darlin." Patton paused to look at Amanda before looking behind him and scanning the room. "Gosh, you know I got so many friends here."

Once again, Amanda bit her lip in a bitter reply.

"We'll catch you later." Patton said.

With one more greedy glance at Amanda, Patton started to walk away, settling his arm on Reese's lower back.

"It was nice to meet ya'all." Reese said with another pearly smile.

"You too." Olivia replied.

As soon as they were gone, Amanda let out a deep breath.

"Yeah Atlanta, they're so polite." Amanda offered.

She looked up to recognize Amaro's face.

"Sam Reynolds, Amanda's old cap, wants us to join APD at Moran's."

Finn quickly put his thumbs out like he was doing the hoke poke. "I'm outta here."

"I gotta go home to Noah guys, goodnight." Olivia said and followed Finn out.

Amaro walked around the table to talk to Amanda.

"Well, just you and me."

"I'm not good at hanging out with the old boys." Amanda stumbled over her words, but acted as though it was nothing.

"You know he said Reese is comin." Amaro rebuttled.

"Umm, I gotta walk Franny." Amanda offered lamely.

Amanda tried walking past Amaro but his arm caught her bicep. Amanda looked up at Amaro's eyes.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't it be?"

Amaro looked deep into her eyes, as if he was trying to figure out her secrets. "You would tell me if there was, right?"

"Yeah of course." Amanda easily brushed it off and walked past.

The corner of her eyes found Patton watching her. He gave her a wink and raised his glass. Amanda took a wide turn around him with a curt head nod and that same silly, awkward smile.

* * *

><p>Amanda sat in a new bar. It was a new one every night. A new drink and a new memory. Amanda had yet to drink all her sorrows away, but at least the booze was helping her feel less like a completely worthless person. Her eyes sat fixed on the table in front of her. She had finished another drink, too many to count, but she didn't care. She liked it that way. She liked hoping that the answer would be at the bottom of the glass and then the bottom of the bottle and then the next bottle and the next. But it never was, but she was never dissatisfied.<p>

"Hit me." Amanda said to the bartender.

Everyone around her was socializing meeting new people, drunk and sober, but Amanda sat at the bar, enjoying the company the noise brought, the distraction that made her remember that drinking was the only thing that dulled the pain, and she couldn't give that up.

Amanda took a swig of her next glass and tried to push the memories bombarding her head away, but one won out.

_"Amanda, Amanda. You know I always liked you." Patton swooned._

_"Yes sir." Amanda answered hesitantly. _

_"Tell me, do you love your sister?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Would you do anything to help her?"_

_"Yes." Amanda immediately became eerie of the situation. _

_"Anything?"_

_Amanda's heart dropped just as Patton's eyes._

_"Then I'll see you at 10." _

_Amanda turned around to leave his office, her heart pounding like a trampling stampede. _

_"And Amanda, you should know by now, I don't take no for an answer." _


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Amanda jumped up from the bar. She looked around, nobody had even moved, she felt like she had moved a million miles away, but here she was. Everyone was carrying on as normal, again, it was just her.

Amanda grumbled under her breath and started walking away from the bar.

This was pathetic.

Amanda walked through the doors to be blasted by the nights fresh air. She took a deep breath and started walking down the street. The cold breeze blew right through Amanda's sweater and she turned her head to one side, closing lashes weighed down with mascara to keep the salty sting of fresh tears from cascading down her cheeks. Her hair fell loose about her face, tousled, tangled. She could hear her feet stepping like the ticking of a more leisurely clock, but never telling her the time, never demanding that she move on.

Soon enough Amanda was sick of her thoughts and whistled down a cab, finally she was on her way back to her apartment.

* * *

><p>"Those Atlanta boys can put it away. When I left they were still gettin after it. I don't know how they made it to their hotels." Amaro said.<p>

"You went?" Fin asked.

"Yeah." Amaro answered curtly.

"Rollins stuff you with 'em."

"Yeah." Amaro said, after a brief pause. "Hey, whats her deal with these guys?"

"You know what, ask her." Fin said as he saw the young blond stumble through the doors of the precinct.

Fin's phone rang before he could greet Amanda. "SVU."

"Is Liv already in?" Amanda asked Amaro quickly. Her black shades covered her booze ridden eyes.

"Yeah, I told her you were runnin late." Amaro said with a shrug and a clearly concerned look.

"Thanks." Amanda offered and dropped her stuff at her desk.

"Kay, bad news." Fin said.

"What?" Amanda asked quickly.

"Hotel rape last night." Fin said. "And the vic was that young detective from Atlanta."

Amanda ripped her shades off her face, her eyes dropped as she realized she knew exactly what happened.

"I'll tell Liv." Amaro said and got up from his seat.

Amanda slumped into her chair, she was almost upset with herself when Fin walked over to her desk. He casually leaned up against her desk to look at Amanda.

"Are you hungover?" Fin asked.

"Fin, please."

"All right, all right. I won't ask." Fin muttered. He paused. "Who rapes a detective in a hotel filled with police officers?"

"A cocky bastard." Liv answered as she walked out of her office followed by Amaro. "Amanda, you're with me. We're gonna get her statement."

Amanda hesitantly nodded and gave Fin a quick look before following Olivia out of the precinct she had only entered moments before.

* * *

><p>Amanda and Olivia idly strolled through the crowded hallways of a chemical smelling hospital. Amanda tried to not walk right in line with Liv, she didn't want to talk right now, she was clearly wasted on last nights booze, and she knew Liv didn't approve.<p>

The two detectives met up with the nurse handling the Atlanta Detective's rape case.

"She presented with a serious head wound and said she fell in the bathroom." A dark haired nurse said.

"She was found in her own hotel room?" Liv asked.

The nurse nodded. "By the maid. Security called 911 she disclosed the rape to the ER nurse so we ran a kit."

"Any drugs or alcohol in her system?" Amanda asked, almost shyly. She already knew the answer, but she had to ask anyway...just to make sure.

"Uh, no drugs, alcohol levels were high though. 0.12" Nurse answered.

"Still intoxicated this morning." Amanda muttered.

"Okay any other injuries?" Liv asked.

"Bite marks, some bruising on the thighs and hips." Nurse said with a typical shrug, she saw this all the time, just like the two women from SVU, but somehow she had grown immune. Her hard eyes told Amanda she didn't put up with crap, she'd been burned too many times in the past, it was time to move on and pretend like everything was fine. Amanda could relate.

"Did she say who her assailant was?" Amanda hesitantly asked.

"That's outside my purview detective." The nurse offered with a knowing look. She glanced back at Olivia before walking away with her clipboard in hand.

"Thanks." Liv said before she was gone and looked back at Amanda.

The two detectives started walking down the hallway again, they were headed towards the rape victims room.

Detective Reese Taymor.

Amanda remembered the girl from last night. It was clear she was Patton's new "good girl", but it still gave Amanda shivers.

Still reminded her.

Olivia broke her out of her trance.

"You were late again today."

"Yeah, I'm real sorry about that Liv. It won't happen-"

"Don't make a promise you can't keep." Olivia said before she opened the door to the detective's room.

"Detective Taymor, we're so sorry." Liv said quietly as she sat down on the edge of Reese's bed. "So can you walk us through the details?"

"Oh I um, I guess I had to much to drink at dinner, I um, I got up in the middle of the night, went to go get a glass of water and fell and must have hit my head on the sink." Taymor said with a slight giggle.

"What about the assault?" Amanda asked.

Taymor's face immediately dropped. "I, I don't know what you mean."

"Okay, the ER nurse said you disclosed." Liv questioned with a concerned look.

"I was, I um, I was at an emotional place." Taymor tried to argue.

"I'm very sorry." Amanda held up her phone with wet eyes Amanda wasn't sure if Liv saw or not. "Fin needs me to-"

"Go head." Liv said quickly.

Amanda quickly got out of the room. In the grip of silent panic, Amanda walked down the same hallway with wild eyes, her pupils dilated,and heart racing. She felt like she was suffocating in the claustrophobic hospital. Her brain was on fire, brain synapses firing like a hyped up internal aurora borealis, like a cluster bomb exploding in her brain. She passed through nurses, doctors, patients, it nearly turned her brain to a mental soup of guilt and memories. It was too soon...5 years...still too soon.

Olivia looked back at Taymor after Amanda had left and focused her efforts on the young girl in front of her.

"I feel so stupid bringin ya'all in here." Taymor said with a goofy grin.

"Okay, how bout we start at the beginning." Liv said with a light smile.

"We had drinks." Taymor shrugged. "He escorted me to my door. He used a false pretense to get in. And when I told him I needed to sleep...there came something else." Taymor paused. "I can't believe that I'm saying these words out loud."

"Okay did you struggle, did you say no, I understand that you have some bruising." Liv quickly distracted her.

Silence.

"Listen to me, this isn't just going to go away." Liv said quietly.

"Yeah it will." Taymor argued, her eyes welling up with tears.

"We're gonna follow security footage and find out who went in and out of that hotel room." Liv said.

Once again, silence.

"It was..it was my boss." Taymor said and bit her lip.

"Captain Reynolds?" Liv asked.

"No, no. It...it was his boss." Taymor whispered followed by a pause. "Deputy Chief Patton." Reese paused again, trying to keep her emotions in check. "So you see I'm not pressing any charges and I won't testify...I can't."

Amanda found a concealed foyer right as she was on the brink of tears. She closed the door behind her and finally broke. She strained her vocals but nothing came out, still she screamed silently, hoping someone would hear her. Suddenly, her body wracked with raw sobs and she shook like a leaf. Fright consumed every cell in her body, swelling them with terror. With every second she practically felt the rise of her blood pressure, but she knew that this was the least of her worries.

* * *

><p><strong>You guys are great! Thank you for all the support. I'd love to hear what you want to see next. What kind of relationships? Instances? Situations? Thank you, thank you for the reviews, keep 'em coming! :) <strong>


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"A detective assaulted is bad enough, but now she's accusing a chief." Chief Dodds offered with a roll of his eyes. "Oh I miss homicide. A lot less loading."

Liv walked around her desk and leaned on the edge across from Dodds.

"I assumed you'd want a heads up." Liv said. "So the rape kit shows bruising, bite marks, semen, blood alcohol was...high."

"Always is. We did do diligence at the hotel?"

"Yeah, Patton was staying in a conjoining room. But we saw them entering her room from the hallway at 1 AM." Fin said.

"And then a male voice orders room service 10 minutes later. Security footage caught Patton leaving his room at 6 AM." Liv grudgingly offered.

"Then house keeping finds Reese unconscious on her bathroom floor. She said she slipped and fell, that was at 8 AM." Fin gave Liv a brief glance before looking back at Dodds.

"She admits to inviting him in?" Dodds asked.

"Not so much inviting as allowing. I mean he's her superior officer, it's pretty tough to say no." Liv said with a shrug.

"Or a man and woman on the town, had a few drinks, they do something they might not do at home, bruising, bite marks, not inconsistent with strong sex." Dodds argued.

"Or rape." Liv quickly replied back.

"Rollins work for this guy?" Dodds questioned.

* * *

><p>Amanda kept her head down, she tried to keep herself distracted on whatever work she should be doing, but her mind was running pandemonium. She squeezed her eyes shut and looked back at her computer, hoping this time somehow she would find some inspiration and distraction. But she was quickly interrupted by Nick.<p>

"Kay, you know Patton, is he good for this?" Amaro asked.

Amanda kept silent. What was she suppose to say?

"Detective Taymore, she seem credible?"

"I actually wasn't there for her disclosure." Amanda said curtly with a small grimace and she turned her head back to her computer. Her fists clenched with white knuckles and she fought to breathe deeply. The last thing she needed was a panic attack right now, and nothing had even happened!

Fin stepped out from Liv's office "Rollins, they want you inside."

Amanda bit her lip, she knew Nick was staring at her, but she held her ground and refused to look back at him. She was worried if she wasn't careful enough he would see right through her crumbling facade. And she just couldn't face that. Amanda stood up, she paused in her seat before taking a deep breath and finding the courage to continue.

_You're okay._ Amanda thought to herself over and over.

She reached Liv's open door and stepped inside, closing the door behind her.

"Deputy Chief Patton was my superior officer for 6 years. Smart, political." Amanda offered.

"You know the type." Liv said to Dodds.

"And personally?" Dodds questioned. "You know, any rumors of harassment, or scared chasing."

"He's been married 20 years." Amanda easily avoided the touchy question.

"I didn't see his wife at the convention." Fin said with a shake of his head.

"Detective Taymor wouldn't disclose until you left the room, have you hear any whispers about their relationship?" Liv asked, trying to keep Amanda focused. She could see Amanda's blue orbs shaking ever so slightly. Her hands trembled and Liv could see Amanda clutching her hands tightly to stop it. Her eyes fell, and her brow creased with concern. She'd seen this before. Just what was her young blonde detective hiding.

"As far as I know they just work together."

"In conjoining rooms." Dodds questioned with a sarcastic smirk.

"I'm not privy to his personal life." Amanda said with a shrug fought to keep her emotions in control.

"We're all grown ups here we know there's a difference between infidelity and assault. I'm asking if Patton is capable of something like this." Dodds finally questioned.

"You can never tell who is capable of what." Amanda said slowly with a shrug. She kept her hands clasped, trying to stop the slight trembling.

_This is ridiculous, stop it. You're fine. _

Liv stared at the blonde for a moment, but Amanda refused to make eye contact with her. Finally Liv released Rollins. "Thank you Rollins."

Amanda gave a quick head nod and shot out of Liv's office. Fin followed her out, concern etched into his face like an old worn book.

"She's in an awkward position here. I'm sure she still feels loyal to him." Liv said to Dodds with a shrug, but her concerned shrug was for more than just why Amanda was acting the way she was, but what her watery eyes were hiding.

"As should we, he is a fellow officer." Dodds said curtly.

"So is detective Taymor. He out ranks her but-" Liv was cut off.

"We haven't heard his side yet." Dodds said sternly.

"Okay." Liv bit her lip to keep her from saying something she may later regret. "Would you like to watch the interview?"

"No, I'll take it."

Liv looked a bit surprised, but Dodds helped himself, walked right into the interview and Liv took her spot looking through the mirror. Patton's face was relaxed, he was cocky, he'd done this before and he was confident he could get away with it. It made Liv dislike him even more. And even though she didn't have a solid, evidential reason to dislike this man, something about him set her off.

* * *

><p>"Chief. I hear good things." Patton said with a smile. He stood up from his cold metal chair and stuck his arm out.<p>

"Likewise, thank you for coming in." Chief Dodds replied and firmly shook Patton's bony hand.

"So here we are in the box." Patton grumbled slightly.

"No disrespect its just the optics." Dodds explained.

"So uh, we are in a situation." Patton took a deep breath. "So let me get right to it. I am not proud of this, and I love my wife." Patton "Well that girl and I are, well, were involved."

"And you were in a room last night." Dodds clarified.

"Yeah, yeah, and we had sex. Consensual. Obviously. And she had a few drinks." Patton said with a shrug, as if it was a given.

"Sure." Chief Dodds agreed. "Here's our issue. She's saying it _wasn't_ consensual."

"Ah," Patton satirically chuckled. "Well now, I kind of deduced that." Patton said gesturing to the interrogation room.

"You know how these things go, the he said she said." Chief Dodds offered. "I just need a reason. Why did she accuse you like that?"

The team watched the interview outside, slightly surprised with how well it was going thus far.

"Dodds with the good ol routine." Fin said.

"It's pretty good." Liv admitted with raised eyebrows.

"So is Patton." Amanda muttered.

Dodds kept his eyebrows down, like he was just trying to understand, as if he _really_ was on Patton's nasty side.

"She started spewing all this nonsense about me leaving my wife." Patton mused, his eyes rolling, as if it was the most absurd thing he'd ever heard.

"Oh okay." Dodds nodded.

"Reese is a smart girl. And she is a damn fine detective. But you know how it is. Hell have no fury." Patton said, the creep of a little smile played on the corner of his lip and sent chills down Amanda's back. Her eyes began to water over, and the trembling came back. She hated herself when she got like this, and she hated the effect this man had on her.

Olivia saw Amanda, once again shaking slightly, her lip was slightly puffy, clearly from Amanda stress biting her lip. Olivia shook her concern away and finished watching Dodds with Patton, and the very good job he was doing.

"So this is her not hearing what she wanted and getting pay back for it." Dodds clarified.

"That's exactly right." Patton leaned back in his chair and folded his arms, like he'd just won a chess match.

"Now I bet this whole thing goes away now." Patton offered for Dodds.

"You know I can't speak to that." Dodds said with a slight sympathetic smile.

"Oh...how bout I talk to her." Patton said, more of a statement than as a question.

"You and I both know that's against protocol."

"Is this a set up Chief Dodds? Did you invite me in hear all smiles and goodwill, you know that fellow officer courtesy bull crap."

"Is that what you think?" Dodds easily avoided the question, with another question in return.

"You know what I think...I think Amanda Rollins put you and her all up to this." Patton exclaimed, he looked at the double mirror with angry eyes. They were wide and threatening.

Amanda almost physically took a step back. Even 5 years earlier, his eyes had not changed a single bit.

"Excuse me?" Dodds retorted.

"No, no. I'd like to be the gentleman here." Amanda clenched her teeth, what a lying rat. "But that one has an ax to grind. There are reasons she left Atlanta." Patton explained.

"I'm new at SVU, tell me."

"Well, she got around." Patton muttered, he looked around the room again. "You ask her about the time she threw herself at me to save her sister."

Amanda nearly heard the gasp from Nick's mouth. She saw his body flinch like he was going to turn around and look at her, but he knew better. He folded his arms and Amanda fought the urge to scream or throw something. She kept her cool surprisingly well.

Years of practice.

"Ah she never did let go of that one." Patton said with a slight chuckle.

Olivia glanced at Amanda again. She could see the torment in her eyes. Amanda's eyes shot back and forth from Dodds and Patton, eagerly awaiting who would win this encounter. Olivia's heart dropped, she desperately wanted to help Amanda, from what...she wasn't sure. But something was definitely wrong.

"Well, thank you for the hospitality." Patton said standing up.

Amanda slightly shook her head, he was getting away.

"I am the deputy chief of Atlanta PD and I have some business to attend to back home." Patton said.

"I hear ya, but as far as leaving town, I think the New York press might catch wind of that. They will make mince meat out of you. Of your career. Your marriage. I'd hate to see that happen."

"Well, we both know the next time we have a conversation my attorney will be present." Patton set his hand down on Dodds shoulder with a smile. "Have yourself a nice day, all right."


End file.
